Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
