I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize