Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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