Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
