he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
