take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
