Sponge bath it is.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
