wanna go halves on a baby?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
