They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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