How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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