I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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