Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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