Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
