I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
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I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
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She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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