youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
The air taste purple.
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