I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
