U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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