Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
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Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
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Everyone says I win the strip club
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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