he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize