Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
