I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
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I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
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I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
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