Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
