All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
