I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Randomize
