absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
