she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
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He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
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Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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