your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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