Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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