you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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