He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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