While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
