that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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