I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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