Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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