Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
