So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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