Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
