can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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