I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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