I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
This is classic penis vs brain.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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