apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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