Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
