That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
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