This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
