I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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