he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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