he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
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Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
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The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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