your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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