lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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