Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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