Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
