we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
