Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
