Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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