you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
