it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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