I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
