I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
NoShamevember. You game?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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