But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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