What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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