i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
