I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I CAN MOONWALK!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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